DAILY BEERS

NEW VENUE

2009-01-21T00:37:00.000-08:00

What's up scumbags.
You're all dead to me, wait, not you because you're reading this now. That means you care.
Since you care so hard, I want you to know that some awesome stuff is happening here, at Black Lodges. Us douchers--meaning Jon and I --will be sharing a blog there. Pretty much going to tell you how it is and stuff.
If you are reading my piece of shit waste of cyberspace you really don't have much to do anyway, so at least go to the Lodges and see what these people have to say, because it is for sure more than I have to say.

p.s.
Stay top dudes.

later

LIL ZOMBIES

2008-11-08T22:04:00.000-08:00

Hello. Decided that halloween needed to be a bit more evil than last few years provided, so we did a ritual and summoned the deeeaaad. Redia summoned the spirit of a hippie wearing tearaway denim and rhinestone bell bottoms designed for mall rat twelve year olds caked in sparlkly blue eye shadow, however she seemed to pull it off naturally.

Zombies lust the love generation

Wee Ding Dong for Mayor

El Zombieodorino, thirsty, for...flesh!!!, or just coldies.

2-D effex Lee.

Eat your faaayyce

Zombie Surprise!!!!

New digs. Good view of Strathcona weirdos passing by.

Fall skate sesh. Bum knee made me the photo taker.

Dead guy in deep thought.

This is the scariest thing I saw all night. I would have pitched in for Jessi and Jenni to get a frickin cab.

OOOooooOooOOOhhh

GURU GURU

2008-11-06T12:13:00.000-08:00

After the war the Germans really wanted to prove to the world that they weren't all a gang of Aryan Supremacists seeking world domination, but a bunch of LSD taking longhairs seeking Psychrock domination.

DUSSELDORF

2008-11-06T11:50:00.000-08:00

The drummer doesn't look to stoked that Schroeder brought along the Dusseldorf Krautrock Interpretive Mime troupe to transcend the borders of who the shit knows.

WHAT THE FUUUUCK!!!

2008-11-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

DOPPELGANGERS 1.0

2008-10-28T21:48:00.000-07:00

Click here to see the obvious style influence. And here, for the close runner up.

ZOMBIE TIME

2008-10-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

In the name of the season, I have decided to throw some inspiration out to those who are interested in gorging on the flesh of the living later on this week.
Bon Apetit!

WADERS

2008-10-23T15:47:00.000-07:00

Waders

7

2008-10-19T19:46:00.000-07:00

The original

This is the rorex of the other...

CHESTERMANS

2008-10-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

Morning surf check. Coffees on the beach.

Black Lodges???

COASTAL WEEKEND

2008-10-13T23:29:00.000-07:00

Thanksgiving gettaway to Tofino this weekend for a bit of RnR. Loads of good food, cold surf, some serious board games and a good crew made the time dissapear too fast.

Boobie establishing his global position with his new tech toy, right next to the biggest tree in Cathedral Grove near Port Alberni.

Back deck view. Essential. (Big gas BBQ out of the frame also essential.)

Besides a slew of mostly useless boardgames like "Monopoly:Star Wars Edition" to Jumanji the game ("People Magazine" game excluded), the accomodation also featured some progressive reading to kill a moist wet coast afternoon. We almost had "the courage to create" a nice warm fire with these bone dry mind benders.

Grill cheeze tower between sesh's...

ART SCHOOL GRAFFITI

2008-10-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

What you might expect to read in an art school bathroom. The usual commentary, banter, etc.

president a or president b...choose one

2008-10-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

This might not be bigger than the Superbowl, but it might draw some viewers. Do any Americans look at this shitty blog?

WAYNE COCKS

2008-09-25T14:16:00.000-07:00

I JUST FEEL LIKE BLOGGIN TODAY

2008-09-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

so not just catholic priests have sex with kids. thanks geraldo.
heavy metal freak practices self mutilation in the name of satan...

probably satanic

hosers

political hoserism

whiskey is satans pee, obviously

worth watching in entirety,
love from,

satan,

aka beezle'bro
ps, skroll down to get further instructshins from the dark lord

start to play this in a new window while playing the child in time. start it 3:00 into child in time. whooo!

do this one at 8:00. aaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaagggghhhhoooooawawawawa

go drink a goats pee

STICK TO WHAT U KNOW

2008-08-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

OOOHHLI!?

C'Mon dude, you can do better than this...
as seen here...>>>%^&*(

p.s.
don't watch this unless you're bored...like really

Eh, BAUEEER

2008-07-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

PRESIDENT OF...

2008-07-24T16:37:00.001-07:00

Today I was fortunate in having the opportunity to see presidential hopeful Barack Obama deliver a speech to an overly excited Berlin. Over 250,000 people showed up, which is an encouraging show of support for the first stop on Obama's European Girls Gone Wild tour, however it is a bummer that the Berlin speech has been the largest crowd he has addressed yet on his campaign, and the turnout has sadly not been matched on his home soil. Anyway, it was amazing to see someone orate to such a mass of people as comfortably as he did.

Some highlights:

a) B.O. is a US citizen, but also a World citizen, exemplified by his family roots ie "...my dad was a goat farmer in Kenya..."

b)Before the speech, which was delivered late by the way, a helicopter hovered 300m over the podium, and banter could be heard anticipating a fashionable late entry by Barack rappelling down a rope from above (clearly with special red white and blue pyrotechnics involved as well)

c)He wore a blue tie. A blue tie.

d)Kanye West wasn't there although some mediocre U2/Nickleback coverband Les and I dubbed "Teargarden" did play for waaaaay too long, hopefully not at B.O.'s request

e)Rostbratwurst and frosty Berliner Kindl pilsner were being sold along the way to the sportsfans in attendence, however I chose to keep politics and business separate.

Here are some people along the way:

Jurgen Myerhoffer, President of Reporting that shiiiiit

disenfranchised youth, Presidents of coming-together-to-sell-bootleg-Obama-"The tidal wave of change"-t-shirts-for-5euros-a-pop for that Ass

Various World Citizens(96% German), Presidents of a Love Hate Relationship with America 'n sheeeeiiit

Barack Obama, President of Being a Candidate for the Presidency of USA for that Asss

Leon Black

VINTAGE STOCK feat.SHANNON JAMES, TICS, AND HATERS

2008-07-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

ETERNALPONYSTOOLCRYPT

2008-07-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't think the professor here was too stoked on the idea of Crypts of Eternity

Sim City Versions of White Horse and White Pony:

I suck at computersss

TOTALLY FULLY

2008-07-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

I was pleasantly surprised to completely randomly without warning run into Les. Totally holy smokes. Turns out he is in Berlin until the beginning of September, so you'll probably see more of him on here...

A bro, a brew, and a brat. Good day.

Legions...

Classroom situation.

WHITE PONY

2008-07-17T07:12:00.000-07:00

Sooooo, finally I was able to finish the first "working" model of the White Horse/White Pony prototype just in time for the critique and open house that the school here (KHB Weissensee) in Berlin hosted . I definitely want to use the term "working model" loosely as there were a few difficulties in producing accurate porcelain casts, as well my skills as a carpenter-under-pressure come into question as well, however, as a first model it works (just don't sit on it).

White Pony.

BERNT SMASH'N

2008-07-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

BJ Bernt smashing a waste of time

SUMMER 2008

2008-07-02T18:44:00.000-07:00

Here is one thing i've been workin' on. These are all made of porcelain, cast in plaster molds, which were made from one original, however each one is quite unique due to a variety of many special ingredients and factors...

Pre-bisque firing. Getting ready to go to hell...

After high firing and glazing.

Rings:

Goat Ring. This shape was designed by El Scumador.

Broken ring...

Pendants:

IN REVIEW

2008-07-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

Weeks in review...

Hats off the the Vogels who kindly took a seafood deprived BC boy out for some great Italian seafood at a secret spot hidden amidst this wasteland of trife doners and ghetto schwarmas. You guys are saints. I would have shown pictures of those aforementioned dishes, however they vanished quickly. This was the follow up to the meal--hands down the best panna cotta I have ever had.

Nina as Vanna White

Strato came through too. His sole purpose was to help take down the Berlin wall, reunite Germany, smite communism and maybe have a brew after, as a reward for all that hard work. As he learned later, the wall was smited in '89, Germany reunited and communism was out, so naturally he layed down a few anti-commie wallrides in peaceful, but radical protest.

My commie camera was trying to sabotage the capitalist swine in pursuit of gnarliness.

Enjoy a brew, check.

So, maybe you heard, but Germany blew it in the EM football championships, losing to Spain. The game was super anticlimactic, and so were the losing German fans. I was expecting full riot almost either way win or lose, but after the game everyone just kinda went away.

Natch.

commie-dickhead

Also, Canada Day shenanegans were had here

HAPPY HOSER DAY

2008-07-01T03:43:00.000-07:00

TARDY

2008-06-30T09:49:00.000-07:00

Sorry fer bein so tard' lately. I got stuff goin on, plus the interweb at my fortress is acting like it is still 1981. Big game tonight. Spain vs Germany. Big screen. outdoors. I dunno, maybe some stuff and some people, no biggie. You bastards overthere in lumberjackland are goin' campin. Kinda jealous of that. Wanna cluse a few, if ya burn my wagon. More to come on the savagery of the big match, youse prikse!

HOCKEY NIGHT IN GERMANY

2008-06-20T05:13:00.000-07:00

The European Masters soccer championships are currently going on here, in Switzerland and Austria to be specific, and the German team has made it to the semi-finals after a win over Austria the other night. Steven and Nina's friend Julia invited me up to her place, which has a rooftop patio, to watch the German-Austria game. So, as I told you, the Germans won, and were matched up to play Portugal last night. I met up with the Vogels and some of their friends at a Portuguese restaurant in the quiet west side neighborhood of Charlottenburg to have a bite, and watch the Germans lose to the strong Portuguese team. Somehow, someway the Deutsch team played their socks off and won, and people here in Berlin were happy about it. Basically, the amount of fans in the street made the Stanley Cup riots in Vancouver look like a tea party.

Ausria vs Germany game at Julia's rooftop sports bar. Nina preparing to clack a clack.

Dinner before the Portugal-Germany game. Soul food--weiner wurst and potato salad.

Clack ready.

Goal

Steven post game. Happy?

Weird guy on TV

At this point it was time to begin to head home, so we walked down Kurfurstendaam, which would be like Robson but higher end, towards Zoologishergarten, where I was gonna catch the train home. Then we ran into these guys...

Oka, Germany.

hnyaaaaa

Smoke break fellas?

jyeeeeeah, Deutschland, Vaaaasss!

She likes balls--the soccerey kind.

So, if Germany loses the next match, you can probably expect some pictures of things on fire.

STAGs

2008-06-19T17:08:00.000-07:00

I've been haunted by this song recently. My interest originated in two incidences; the first time was when a few years ago an art history teacher named Art Perry showed the Nick Cave version; the second time is as a result of repeatedly listening to the sound track to Tarantino's Death Proof. The latter instigated me to research a little bit more (not that the Cave and the Bad Seeds version was any less impressive). The song has been titled many things and re-written and re-interpreted many times since the legend occurred. The song is about Lee Shelton, aka, Stagger Lee, Stagolee, Stackerlee, Stack O'Lee, Stack-a-Lee etc., black cab driver and alleged pimp in St. Louis, who shoots his acquaintance Billy Lyons. Anyway, it is quite nearly impossible for me to get through a day without listening to at least one version of this song. Check here for some semi-accurate info about the Stag.

One of the original versions by Lloyd Price

Nick Cave does it right

PG&E version

Also, Ram John Holder has been blowing my mind. Good looking out to Jon for that...

Ram J is the shit. Unfortunately, there are no available videos for that dude, probably cuz he ain't recorded shit since '71 as far as I know...?

Ram

Also, Roger Taylor rips this shit...
"I like the good things in life, but most of the best things ain't free"...

VISA

2008-06-18T03:33:00.000-07:00

There have been many significant John Stuarts. You have John Stewart, the Canadian financier, and railway builder. Jon Stuart, the American songwriter who wrote songs for the Monkees, who recently passed away. There was also British philosopher John Stuart Mill, which kinda counts, and of course many unspoken J.S.s. I mean, there could even be a French man named Jean Stouart. I know you've heard of all the above John Stuarts, but the only really important one has a website that is really hard to find because of those other bastards. His name is John Stuart. He is funny. Buy him a beer.

AMERICA, LAND OF THE FREEDOM FRIES

2008-06-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Dan and Paul are on the road. Who knows where they'll end up. Actually, they'll end up in New York. What happens between Vancoov and the Big Apple? That answer lies here----->6

DEVILS MOUNTAIN/TEUFELSBERG

2008-06-11T05:05:00.000-07:00

Planning to go for a bit of a bike ride this week out to the infamous Teufelsberg here in Berlin. The history behind Teufelsberg is quite interesting. So, in German, "Teufelsberg" translates into "Devil's Mountain". Obviously this made further inquiry and investigation a must. So, after WWII ended Berlin was a huge pile of waste as it was bombed to shit during the war. What this meant was that the waste created from the destruction had to go somewhere, and the place designated was the place known now as Teufelsberg. Keep in mind that about 80% of the city was destroyed in bombing, and if piled up it equaled about 12 million cubic meters, basically a small mountain if you were to pile it up. So this is what the allies did. They erected Devil's Mountain from haunted war wastage. To make matters more interesting, during the time when Berlin was divided by the wall the Western powers, UK, France, and the US discovered that due to the unrivaled elevation of the mound that it would make a perfect place to survey happenings in East Berlin, aka, spy on them, so they build a state of the art surveillance center on top of the mountain. After the wall came down and spying from that vantage was no longer useful the station was abandoned, and ravaged by vandalism, despite unsuccessful attempts at reconstituting the area into a high end hotel the area has remained abandoned in silence at the top of Devil's Mountain, that is until recently, when American filmaker David Lynch negotiated a deal with the city of Berlin to take over the mortgage and install a world class educational institution for learning Transcendental Meditation at the location. So Lynch hired a all knowing guru of this form of Meditation, who is the self proclaimed "Raja of Germany" (King of Germany), and planned to present their plans to eager TM followers. Anyway, during the presentation the the Raja starts going off about his intentions to reinstate "Invincible Germany", which was a famous line from everyones favorite Deutschbag. Hitler. So obviously, this is a sensitive topic that Germans don't really want to remember, and all hell breaks loose. Watch the clip...it's almost too much. So anyway, of course everyone thinks Lynch is involved in some Nazi revival shit, especially considering the haunting history of what the mountain is made of. On top of all that, the mountain is surrounded by Grunevald forest, which is apparently full of wild boars from hell who lust human blood and will trample you and eat your soul. So naturally Teufelsberg is an attractive tourist destination. If I don't post in a few days, go roast a whole pig for me.

Visit sunny Teufelsberg

Watch Lynch get Lynched

Lynch and Transcendental Meditation

2008-06-11T05:02:00.000-07:00

BERLIN/MUNICH/LJUBLJANA/PULA/YERFACE

2008-06-09T07:19:00.000-07:00

Piles like us decided that it was of great bro-ey-ness to embark on a little train trip. With pretty much no planning we threw our stuff if some bags, and headed to Hauptbanhof to buy some train tickets to somewhere. Once at the station we decided that the 5 day EUrail pass was best--it basically allows you to use the train for 5 days, consecutively or not within a 2 month period. On top of that we chose it to be valid in three (really four) countries: Germany, Austria, and Slovenia/Croatia which according to EUrail count as one country. The best plan we decided was to start off by trucking down to Croatia, where the sun was. To get there, which is about 1000 miles, we took the night train from Berlin to Munich. There was a bit of roadpoppin involved--it is kinda hard to sleep on a train unless you are well traveled, high on gravol, or know in the least for a night ride which you intend to sleep on it is worth paying a bit extra for a sleeper car. To add to our exhaustion the train was delayed by 4.5 hours, so 8 hours turned into 12.5...

Great Canadian ambassador.

"Hynnnaaaa"

Chrunchen

Can never get enough, I'm on a nachzug

Munchen, 12 hours, 3l of beer, 3l of water, and 1 hour of sleep later

It was Sunday in Munich and being the gods that we are("Gods" in a RZA kind of way), we decided to treat the temple of our bodies to greasy grilled vegetable sandwiches and trashy train station coffee. This may have been a poor decision, because the "facilities" on the next train through the Austrian Alps were not "updated" since the "middle ages".

Epic view,

tragic poo.

Almost every town has a church visible from the rail lines. Unlike Norway.

The train yards of Salzburg

Great Escape wise vectorish

Like a fresh towel drying on the line on a summers day

Ljubljana>Slovenia

Goat head beer...an easy choice

"Lashko"

y'know, the zlatorog...?

What's up with the Wings re-runs!!! Wings!!!

City plan wise, they had one! Castle wise, they had one! Bums from Canada they had two!

City by night. Awesome!!! !!!

666wise, Lashko is down. Good enough Pivo for Satan, good enough for us...

I got this fox's phone number

I'm from Canada and I'm wasted

Da Snaga man takes away de garbage. Snagaman!!!

Pilesofepicproportions. !!!

Ljubljana from the top of the castle! Excellent!!!

I like to call this "Ljubljanaramic"!!!

Ljubljana is very clean, this man was even vacuuming the sidewalk. Spotless!!!

Just a guy

Don't look at me

Everyone in Podgorje was very friendly! See you again soon!!!

Zazid was closed, so we kept going!!!

Not much going on here!

Whoa!!! My head is out of the window!!!

Two guys on vacation, just passing through. No trouble mister train officer man. Just kidding!!!

Pula.

A boat.

90210

Pula nightlife.

Croatian. I think they were Croatian. Yes, pretty sure, Croatian.

Not too much to say about that which hasn't been said already.

Avoiding Croat beer, un-avoiding the sun

shark infested waters

Post-wise G&T with the worst gin ever. "SaxGin"--looked "edgy", and there wasn't any other option. Conclusion--->Croatia, good for Sea and Sun, but stick to imports in the refreshment vector.

View-wise

Big salad?

CROATSKI

2008-06-09T06:34:00.000-07:00

Right after this picture a shark totally jumped out of the water and bit El's leg off. Luckily for him he tastes like a rotten pile of Ted Nugent's loin cloths, so the shark spat it out and we glued that shit back on.

Uh, consider this your postcard from Croatia.

Ever triple pike axel lutz off a cliff into the Adriatic? Neither has this dude

Sorry 819

Russell Crowe was signing autographs

From Croatia via Compton

What to do in Ljubljana? Besides strolling the canal, enjoying ancient architecture and consuming yourself in the rich history of the city, there is always the topless mudfight danceparty, that is, if nothing else is going on.

200km

Sadness is a barnacle clinging to your bright boat

Currywurst in Hamburg

The lady who made these tasty, and were they ever tasty, treats was so choked that El spoke English. I think if it were the 1500's she might have tried to kill us. Her currywurst sure was good though.

Hamburgers.

EL SCUMADOR aka KAISER VON SCUMSTEIN aka OTTO PILEBERG III

2008-06-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

Did you know that "berg" in German means mountain?

Otto Pileberg came to town--not to show the Germans how to skate, but rather to teach them a lesson in being a mountainous pile.

A couple of pilebergs on a hill. That's a tall pile.

Clearly, one of the first orders of operations was to get some nourishing wieners and a few real tall hefe's.

Beginner guidelines in the garten are:

Do go.

Don't not go.

Don't not go and not expect to enjoy the marvels of German preservative free brewing. If you do that, then do not go.

Don't fart out your mouth hole in the name of tasty beverages, unless you want the cram packed tables within a 5m radius to be disturbed, otherwise, share your happiness and do fart loudly and expressively with joy from your mouthole in the name of good times bavaria style.

Do eat roast bratwurst with mustard on a small bun which is marginally less than 1/4 the length of the entire sausage.

Do go get another for you and your friends.

I think this guy stole the tablecloth from the beer garden...

Good denims, er jeans

The combination of the German passion for beer drinking, as well as a unparalleled fondness for asparagus is a potential landmine for all public urinals.

THESE UDOS

2008-05-20T01:59:00.000-07:00

What is with Udo. These are the Udo's I don't know

Udo Dirkschneider of U.D.O.

Udo Schuklenk, bioethicist, is hanging out like real cool and easylike here

Udo Kier the great Deutsch pretender

I'm over it. Look at all the Udo's. I thought it was a good name, but shit is played out like currywurst on a friday night. Google pages full of Udos.

THAT LIFE

2008-05-20T01:32:00.001-07:00

Apparently I don't really know what's happening. 1.7 million American listeners weekly do however know that Chicago Public Radio's This American Life is something worth hearing. If you haven't heard of it, like myself about a month ago, you should go check the site out because they have archived podcasts for all the old shows, and also you can sign up for all the new podcasts one week after they air on the radio.

In a nutshell this show is hosted by Ira Glass, who apparently has done every job in the journalist field in DC, and since '95 has had this show. Now, as I mentioned, a bunch of prople listen to it and things seem pretty, preeeeteeeey good for Ira. On the website the description of the show is:

"...One of our problems from the start has been that when we try to describe This American Life in a sentence or two, it just sounds awful. For instance: each week we choose a theme and put together different kinds of stories on that theme. That doesn't sound like something we'd want to listen to on the radio, and it's our show...."

Anyway it's better that that blurb, you're just gonna have to trust me. Here's the full description for you nerds who like to read.

Y'know, sometimes you just gotta put down the bud, turn down the Lizzy and punch your radicalness-cortex in the nuts for being so awesome. Listen for this show for an hour a week, then apologize--I think he will understand, 'spesh if you bring a sixer of Buds along.

this american life is here

GOOD MORNING

2008-05-19T00:51:00.000-07:00

MORE GORE SCORE

2008-05-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

thanks C.B.

LES

2008-05-16T08:30:00.001-07:00

Les Ramsey.

Go see his stuff. here---> abracadabra

WARNING

2008-05-16T02:54:00.000-07:00

I happened to stumble upon this the other day, and since I was on the topic of film, I might as well go with it. I'm not quite sure if this qualifies in the film, art, or in the I-live-in-a-grey-city-and-drinkafucklot-and-take-acid-tri-weekly department, however I do know for sure that I have seen almost 8 minutes of it, and want to see more. If you live in Vancouver, this might be an interesting watch for you cuz it seems to to have themes running through it that we can all relate to from skateboarding puppets to the crakklord wizards of the eastside, plus Hernan is in it. The music, done by Shayne Ehman is good too.

This thing

Go to the site here...

BANGMASTER GENERALS WARNING

GOOD 'STANG

2008-05-15T06:11:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to see a screening of Bullitt featuring Steve McQueen, and some other dudes and a babe. I don't know too much about movies, however I do think this film definitely possesses some of the characteristics of a classic--The wardrobe is spot on, the dialogue is reserved to some exceptional one liners, there is some action, and most of all there is a super good car chase. Generally cars seem like a waste of time to me and i'm not interested, but when they go really fast, sound like they do in this clip, and either fly off a cliff or blow up eventually then thats cool. Anyhow, the point about the movie I was going to make was that it could use some editing. By editing, I mean cut out 2 hours of crap and leave just the elements of the classic, like the following chase scene which would comprise over 50% of the movie, along with a few other interesting shots of Steve McQ. making the turtleneck look cool, some gunfights, and maybe a shot of Robert Duvall as a cab driver. And also the shot of Jacqueline Bisset eating some mini wheats.

I HOPE THIS ISN'T A TREND...

2008-05-12T04:48:00.000-07:00

TIERGARTEN BIERGARTEN

2008-05-12T04:24:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday we made plans to venture into the Tiergarten park and meet up with our personal ministry of Deutsch culture, the Vogels, for a lesson in day beers. This is a tradition that runs strong in this crazy country, and participation in the ritual is as common as going to church on Sunday, er, or like totally sleeping in on Sunday, whichever suits you. Since we were in a "beer garden", the consuming of other varieties of refreshment is patriotically frowned upon--however, for the weaker beer drinkers, such as Ms. Soltis, the Germans have created a fantastic solution to the problem. It's called Radler--mix a glass of beer with sprite, and serve it up to the less enthusiastic participants, and that is how you fit the mold here in the Deutsch if you can't bear the deliciously refreshing flavour of coldies.

More info on the event from the ministry here...

Another trick of the trade: Salty = thirsty...

ACTUALLY...

2008-05-09T13:20:00.000-07:00

Well, sorry to dispel the myth, but I have actually been doing a few other things than the usual "beers" related activities. I have been working a bit with porcelain for the project I'm working on at school. In summary, German based porcelain manufacturer Rosenthal is holding a contest for 5 schools to submit porcelain product prototypes. The stipulations are that the product must be at least 50% porcelain, and can incorporate other materials. As well, the suggested key word for initiative is "innovation". Well, ya. Still thinking about what direction to go exactly, but working on some fun pet projects with porcelain to get the feeling of the material in the mean time. I have to give my man Zeddy a tip of the hat for the inspiration on this one. PS, you get the first pair.

A bit of a "homage/parody". To be fired porzelan. Obviously you've seen this shape before...

POTSDAM

2008-05-09T12:59:00.000-07:00

Went to Potsdam. Hung out at the palace. Got kicked off the grass for sitting there too hard. Also, they tried to charge us 12 euros to do the royal tour of the palace interior. Uh, no--sorry, actually that 12 euros could feed a whole family in the united republic of bongobongo for a week, so, uh, lets do that.

Sorry grass. Sorry Potsdam. Sorry.

Shitty palace. I hate your face--cade.

Stupid palace thing. Crappy all the way.

Even though the palace was a bit of a letdown Redia and Miki totally scored by drinking the cheapest wine available at the train station. Oh well, it was 1.69 euro and at least it was imported from Bulgaria.

CONGRATS ZEDDY!

2008-05-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to pass congrats on to Zeddy aka Zeemunji aka Zachary Fluker, who just graduated from Emily Carr University of Art and Design. Take a look at his grad project here (thx K.G. link). The BC Bench is the product of about seven months planning, hundreds of hours of stress, I don't even wanna count how many cigarettes, and also a great ambition and drive. The result of all that hard work is amazing and clearly speaks for itself. Also, I want to wish Z-man the best of luck in the next step in his education at the Architectural Association School of Architecture.

1MAI.4

2008-05-05T13:39:00.000-07:00

Fire's a burnin', crowds a stirin'

Hello Cops. Hello bottles. Time to go maybe...Plus there weren't even any cars on fire.

This was pretty much the summary of the night. No cars burned. No aaaactual fight between cops and punks. A lot of bottle and m-80 throwing by provocative punks. A whole bunch of police officers showed up, howeverm were still outnumbered--even though they had super cop suits from the future on.

1MAI.3

2008-05-05T13:27:00.001-07:00

"Hey dude, what was the score in the football game yesterday?"

"Uh, I dunno, I think Chelse---hey!!! There's some chicks over there!!!"

Riot Trash+Fire=German Efficiency

1MAI.2

2008-05-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

In rolls the cavalry. This caravan was about 40 vehicles long...

The kids on the street understand "Konflict" with a 'K' waaaay more than with a 'C'. Safe to say 'K' has more street kred.

Blue Man Group slash Braveheart totally played.

1MAI.1

2008-05-05T13:15:00.000-07:00

Kottbusser Tor Banhof//station...bunch of yute's hangin' out.

Big Police dude...er...woman.

"Everyone is taller than me and they smell..."

APRIL 30

2008-05-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

So the other night, after Dre and Ali's visit both Redia and I were ready for a few serious days of detox and chill at home time, however the hard workin' Deutsch schedule just wouldn't allow for it. There is this big holiday, which basically equates to labour day in Canada. The main day is off is always Mai.1. All the shops are closed and everything is quiet, for the most part. April 30 is the night before the holiday, which means that if you are a good German you should be on the street drinking bottles and bottles of beer rambling around looking for something exciting to happen. After a little bbq at school Redia a few classmates and I went to Mauer Park, where apparently shit goes down. There were lots of Germans, scumbags, German scumbags, and also some scattered ex-pat scumbags, and of course us. Rumour had it that some scumbag vs. cop action might happen, but on this calm final night of April the shit did not hit the proverbial fan.

As for Mai 1...? For a few years around 1999 2001 Mai 1 had been the really exciting day to be a spectator...

THE NOSE

2008-05-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

So Dre "The Nose" Mulebag came to town to kick off his eurogap tour for 2008. I was lucky enough to get him fresh off the plane from the flight from Vancouver-London-Berlin. Of course he and his lovely travel mate Ali were fresh as a bag of steamed spinach, undeterred by the shittyness of Heathrow 5 and bad "vintage" airline chardonnay and were ready to explore the city known as the gateway to the east.

Over the 5 day visit we got to see most of the big landmarks by day--including Brandenburger Tor , the TV tower at Alex'platz, the old bombed out church from my earlier posts, and a bit of the West Berlin shopping area Ku'daam , which obviously none of us dirtbags could afford anything except for bratwurst, except Redia, who probably could have afforded things, but she was still thinking about Alexander McQueen and Martin Margiela in Milan.

During the evenings we scoured my hood by foot with brews and rambled in and out of dives.

Despite being a huge pile, wait...no that's it.

Remember that movie "Spies Like Us", with Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase? That was a great movie. We should re-make that movie, except instead of being about spies during the cold war in Russia with Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase, it could be about some dudes in a random place who mission for coldies and stay up till 5am doing so and hence don't wake up till well after sunrise and do the same thing for about three days in a row, and instead of Dan Aykroyd and Chevy Chase it would star Dre and Beers. We could call it "Piles Like Us". We thought Uli might be a bogey, but it was okay--he turned out to be a pile. Safe!

Dre likes weiners.

We had a good ride on the last day. The dudes (meaning everyone but me) all rented some sweet hogs and we shredded the city. We watched these breakdance dudes who were actually pretty good, but they had one corny 49 year old bleach blond skater there who was busting the same shit routine for like 3 rounds. Found this video of him on u toob...get a job you dead beat...oh wait...

Anyway, we decided it was time to go do our jobs, and do them properly since Dre and Ali were leaving the next day on an 8am flight, so they wanted to be sure to be in bed early...

Oh ya, thanks for the b'day night you sonsofbitches!!!

IL DUOMO

2008-04-24T05:10:00.003-07:00

IL DUOMO

2008-04-24T05:03:00.000-07:00

La Biere Du Demon aka La Biere Dude Mon

2000 EURO FENDI STROLLERS

2008-04-24T04:43:00.000-07:00

From being poor, black and dangerous, to rich, black, and tacky is not a turn in events I had foreseen in the future of rap culture.

Thinking about Margiela.

VIA MILANO

2008-04-24T04:11:00.000-07:00

On the left you have 2006 Renault, on the right you have a mid 2000's Fiat, and in the middle you have a 1976 Pile of Eurotrash.

The wildlife is quite safe in Milano. They only pose a threat if you dress like you have a summer house in Crete and own a Lear jet.

Gianni decided to join the wall of fame along side Richard Geer, Katrina Zera-Jones, and that guy from 98 degrees.

MILANO 2

2008-04-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

Pizza with Boobie, Jake Zak and some of his Milano friends.

Made the trip out to the fuori site of the salone. It was good to see everything that was there, but most of the good things are all up on the blogs anyway. The best thing for me was the satellite show because it really exemplified the standard of upcoming designers...lots of it looked like student work, however there were several examples of good stuff.

However, lots of designer cheese.

Local hooker outside the sexy shop.

Ran into El over there too. We had a few buds, but he had to run because Bob Seger was doing a concert in Budapest.

ZONA TORTONA

2008-04-24T03:26:00.000-07:00

Arrived in Milano on Friday in the a.m. after a long night of international roadpopping and cheap chianti'ing at the Berlin Shönefelde airport. While Red decided to catch a few winks--she had been on the road and chilling in airports for the past 48 hours--we decided to go check out Zona Tortona and see Boobie at the Molo exhibition next to the nhow hotel.

Right infront of the elevators at the nhow. Glass floor.

Frickin' Angelo makes a good frickin' panino. Buon apetito.

Have you ever seen the Samsung smoke machine-laser-moss room at the 2008 Milano Zona Tortona show? Have you ever seen the Samsung smoke machine-laser-moss room at the 2008 Milano Zona Tortona show on weeeeeed?

The Spanish design council had a show in the hotel as well, and they handed out goodie bags which included this COMME des GARCONS parfums stamp, complete with ink and fragrance, which Redia proceeded to theive out of my hiding place in the sock area of my suitcase.

ENJOYING ALONE TIME

2008-04-16T18:01:00.000-07:00

500 years old, whateverrrr.

Thanks for the hell brew, monk dude.

Games night at my house. Portrait by C.Heintzman.

GOOD TO KNOW

2008-04-16T17:09:00.000-07:00

I was having a nightmare that I was stuck in a massive techno purgatory, when an black angel came up behind me, punched me in the kidney, flipped a lever, and sent me cascading down through some kind of trapdoor that sent me right to heavan. Night truckin' on a rock'n'roll rig.

CROC SNATCH//TOKYO GORE POLICE

2008-04-15T16:59:00.000-07:00

THANKS FOR THE LINK K.G.

MUSEUMS OF THE 21st CENTURY

2008-04-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

Shigeru Ban. This model is for the Centre-Pompidou Metz in Paris. I like this building.

MUSEUMS OF THE 21st CENTURY

2008-04-15T07:58:00.000-07:00

Upstairs the special exhibit at the Pergamon Museum was all about the architecture of modern museums, and featured process and scale models of some of the projects. Among some of the names in the show were Peter Cook, Tadao Ando, Shigeru Ban, Frank Gehry, Zaha Hadid, Jun Aoki, Daniel Libeskind and maybe a dozen more.

The sketches of Frank Gehry.

F.O.G.

Tadao Ando--model for the Chichu Art Museum.

Jun Aoki model for Aomori Museum of Art.

Coop Himmelb(l)au + Partner, Musée des Confluences in Lyon, France.

HISTORY LESSON

2008-04-15T07:17:00.000-07:00

So, a few days ago, while Boobie was still here, we decided (intended) to inspect some (actually only getting to one) of the local cultural institutions. Berlin is a great city to visit if you want to go and see art, music, design or theatre--it is an abundance here, and all really accessible and affordable. So after making a bit of a late start, we jumped on the tram to Hackesher Markt and from there walked our way over the the museumsinsel--which is basically an island in the middle of Mitte which accommodates a few of the larger museums in Berlin. On this day our destination was the Pergamon Museum--the institutional home of the ancient city of Pergamon, Greece. The permanent exhibit on display is comprised of actual artifacts of the city, the massive steps to the altar of the Pergamon Temple as well as the Ishtar Gate and the Procession Way of Babylon. There is some totally old stuff in there. The Ishtar Gate dates to somewhere around 575BC.

...

Broken nose. Sorry about the sideways images...!@#$#$

A TREAT FOR THE ROAD//ROADPOPS

2008-04-15T06:43:00.000-07:00

NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW! NEW!

ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS

A TREAT FOR THE ROAD

ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS ROAD POPS

BONES HEAL AND CHICKS DIG SCARS

2008-04-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

Go check this. It is Sagmeister Inc. The graphic design firm of Stefan Sagmeister. The work the group does, the website layout, as well as the encouraging words to ambitious students and followers of design is inspiring, or if not, at least a good brief read into one of print design's dynamic minds. Also, check the Stefan Sagmeister talk on TED, it is good as well.

POTSDAMER PLATZ

2008-04-10T09:24:00.001-07:00

This is Potsdamer Platz. They have some stuff. Like those buidings, and another thing. If you look over there, some other things exist. I know 'cus i went there. Are you calling me a liar? No? Okay, alles gut mein nizzle.

Red baron flew threw for a sec. Said wassup, then he peaced. Those people were going to get ice cream cones. Did you know that 'red' in German is 'rot'? Sounds cool huh. Hey, your face is getting rot--kinda zombie, which is cool, obviously.

THE MANY FACES OF BOOBIE

2008-04-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say thanks to Ko for visiting up here in Berlin. He was a bit mad about me posting his pics in the previous posts, but I'm just doing advertising for him. I don't think Ko knows how many hits this blog gets, probably around a mil a mill-and-a-half a week. I haven't really checked lately, and who cares, it's just a stupid number anyway. You do the math. The internet isn't just for nerds anymore--Hey girls, this guy might be available. You better make moves soon though, because he's in Italy, the land of romance, and I think he's trying to "learn the language", if you know what i'm saying. Check the many faces of Boobie:

Boobie face #1. The beers he has there is called Desperado, and it is a mix of tequila and beer.

Boobie face #2.

On the dancefloor, Boobie face #3. It appears that consumption of beers does not inhibit, but rather enhance the effectiveness of the look.

At 8 am the face was no longer available for documentation, but I have a feeling that his face muscles were tired of working so hard for such a long haul. I can't really blame him--Ko, I'll only post good pics--I'm working for you, broheim. Hey dude, quit walking so fast!

SHR-ENDEUUUDDD

2008-04-10T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hey Scumbags! Don't forget to bring your skateboards to Berlin. Amidst all of the arting and participating in the German-ish activities like eating bratvurst and stepping in dog poo on the sidewalk every two blocks you might want to try to find some time to kick back and relax with a shuv it or two. I found this jewel of a park about 10 minutes from my house--and it's all downhill to get there. Be sure to bring your 95mm soft wheels--they are much easier to roll on cobblestone with. This place is ready to go, all you have to do is wipe the passed out unemployed man off the quarter pipe and you'll be shreddin'.

FANMAIL

2008-04-10T08:30:00.001-07:00

CROSS BLOG BLOGGERY

2008-04-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

Bryllface bageye Heintzman live and direct here.

BIKE TOUR 1

2008-04-05T14:39:00.001-07:00

So Jubilo's in town. He brought his bike. I have a bike. So I call up Steven, who happens to be a German history major, and ask him if he would like to join Ko and I for an afternoon rip. Turns out, that by making that call, that I signed us up for the best tour of West Berlin possible. Oh on your left, ya? that's David Bowie and Brian Eno's old place. Watch out for that car...oh hey, that's where Eva Braun used to hang out. Hey there's the Zoo! Ya. Enndduuuueeeww...?

Fuck you BOOOBIEEEE!!!!

Bauhaus Museum.

Currywurst from 195--this spot is where all the millionaires go to get currywurst on a Saturday Night. They park their Rolls' and thier Bentley's in front and eat sausages with curry ketchup and powder which costs 2.20 Euro, and wash it down with 500 Euro bubbly.

Paris Bar--Apparently good food. Impossible to get a seat, but if you do, you might sit next to the Prince of Abudabi or Cher or something.

BOOOOOOOBIIEEE!!!!

BIKE TOUR 2

2008-04-05T14:16:00.000-07:00

Speaking of bombed out and depleted--This church, the Kaiser-Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche , which was nuked in an RAF raid in WWII, still slightly remains in some form of dilapidated glory. Pretty magnificent. The part on the left is new, and is called by locals the lipstick and powderbox...or something like that.

Cool contrast.

Dude--Danny Way totally dropped in and---nnndddeeeeeeewwww!

Kool Koko lookin' uber kool--one hand on the bike, one hand on the bag of beers, and a "Look at me, riding all one handed and shit I better put my kool face on in case any girlss see me" look. 3 seconds later the bag broke.

HAIR PARTY

2008-04-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

Eff ya. Clap above your head to compensate not having long hair, you sonofabitch.

This is the part in between songs, when it is protocol to make a fist and punch skyward in an aggressive but approving manner. "That was so awesome that it makes me wanna punch air in the faaaayyce."

See pony boy there? This guy is abundant in Germany like sand in the desert. Ve care about nossing!

DOWN

2008-04-04T15:08:00.000-07:00

So I lucked out, and got invited to a metal show the other day. A friend of a friend (Thanks Sylvia and Steven!) managed to hook up guest list at the show for Down. Down is a side project from dudes from Pantera, Crobar, and Corrosion of Conformity. So anyway, metal, legit. I was had never really listened to Down before, so I had no idea what to expect, but based on the type of patrons that the venue was filling up with, I was in for a good show, and if not at least some good metalhead viewing. The band decided that instead of having an opening band, that they would play, on a big screen, a movie of tour footage, and videos of classic heavy rock performances like deep purple, sabbs. etc, which I though was epic. The whole crowd was stoked on it, and much beer was consumed in anticipation of what was to come.

Lights out, amps on. Go.

This wasted 48 year old Danish lady kept trying to talk to me. She was leathery, in the "you could have made a nice leather jacket out of her" kind of way. Anyway, in broken English she kept saying in disbelief while pointing at the lead singer, "he's from Texas! Can you believe it!...George Bush! Can you believe it!?".

Good stance.

Check the bass stance. His feet were like two meters apart. Hey you, point over there.

CHRIS RYAN aka STEPHAN JÜRGENS

2008-04-04T15:02:00.000-07:00

I knew you were a funky guy Chris, but I didn't know that you had Hasslehof status in Germany. Nice alias.

WORDS OF THE DAY

2008-03-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

heraus bombardiert und verbraucht = bombed out and depleted

SECRET WORD OF THE DAY//HEUTIGES GEHEIMES WORT

2008-03-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

I have decided to make a new addition to the column. It is called word of the day.
The motive behind word of the day is to break down cultural misunderstandings, educate and bring all of us together. Also, if you come to visit me, these words might come in handy. I may also upon occasion put additional links, video or other info to help clarify the terminology. Good luck!

Today's Word(s):

Erbrechen = barf

kotze = puke

BROS?

2008-03-24T09:13:00.001-07:00

I know I haven't seen you in a while, but you should have let me know you were coming to Berlin bro! Can I have a job?

Mavis! If Tosh doesn't give me a job, can I sell Azerbajanian long distance phone cards for you?

GET UP

2008-03-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

Every spot on spare walls is home to someone's tag. I think every city has a "blaze", and a "crazy".

HAMBURGER NO FRIES

2008-03-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

The other day german photographer Wolfgang Tillmans opened his show "Lighter" at the Hamburger Bahnhof Museum, so we decided to go check it out. We made our way to Hauptbahnhof, the closest station in relation to the museum. The Hauptbahnhof is the largest two story train station in Europe--the name literally translates into 'main station'. Needless to say, it's big.

From the station the museum is only a few minutes walk--the area is still fairly undeveloped, kind of barren, which is surprising since the most ambitious train station in Europe is built there. Alot of empty lots, wide space and semi industrial space is in the area, however from the right vantage point at least of three of major Berlin's architectural landmarks are visible--The TV tower (which is usually visible), the Reichstag , and the Hauptbahnhof, not to mention the impressive Hamburger Bahnhof museum.

Front facade of the Hamburger.

This is the entrance to the museum. The Hamburger Bahnhof museum is situated in a building which was previously used as a train station before art was cooler than transportation. I was actually just expecting to see the Tillmans' show, which was already overwhelming enough as it was, however I was informed that the museum presents private collections as well. To keep it brief, it was shocking to just walk into a room and see work that you only knew existed on the pages of books. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love our pig farms, mountains and dive bars, but it is something else to be able to go at any time to a place that you can see this stuff--Donald Judd in the first room, Cy Twombly in the next, Matthew Barney and Damien Hirst as well. I was also surprised to see Jeff Wall, Stan Douglas, and Rodney Graham there too--I was like I'm Canadian too--nnndeuuuud...Ya. The most visceral room was inhabited by Joseph Beuys and some of his fat sculptures--just imagine big molded blocks of fat as big as a shed. Even stranger than the sculptures is the security guard hired to watch the work--he just stands by the fat. Waiting, looking for suspicious art gazers, terrorists, you know. And the room smells like moldy fat.

This was the concourse that the Tillmans show was in--it was about half a km long with about 15 different rooms.

ARTARTART

2008-03-22T15:19:00.000-07:00

Wolfgang Tillmans @ the Hamburger Banhof museum

Raymond Pettibon @ the CFA Berlin

BERLIN

2008-03-22T14:47:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know, this is my first time traveling to Europe--Of course the first street I stumble across is the German Robson.

Naturally, after checking out the Robson Strasse scene I felt like I was in the mood for something a little bit more authentic. After a trip on the U-Bahn and a short walk I ended up at the Jewish memorial site. There weren't any German punks, weiner vendors, or big salty pretzels, so after wandering through the labyrinth of sombre monoliths I decided to move on to the next spot.

On the left is an old church that hosts fancy concerts, and on the right is the pride of former communist East Germany, the Fernsehturm (TV Tower) also known as Alex. This is where I saw a big group of scumbaggy looking skid punks drinking cheap beer with their dogs who looked excited about either doing nothing all day or talking about revolution while doing nothing all day. I didn't see salty pretzels here either, and the beer toting shitstain gang made me feel like I should be doing the same as them--since I had already done something this day.

The brick line is where the Berlin wall was and apparently this line runs the entire course of the old perimeter.

Motorhead uber alles?

APRTMNT

2008-03-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

So I arrived in Berlin on Wednesday at about 5pm/17:00 local time, which was almost a whole day after departing Vancouver. Gripe wise; O'Hare airport in Chicago is Massive--if you ever make connections from this place, be sure to get your travel agent to book you enough time to get from terminal to terminal--I had a four hour layover, and it took almost 3 hours to get from gate to gate including security; United Airlines seats are small; Scandinavian Air Service only serves two complimentary drinks to economy passengers--however, the 'calibre' of service was 10/10 so i'll let it slide, since once I got to sleep (as opposed to passing out) I did have some nice lucid dreams; and they also forgot to transfer my bike from Copenhagen to Berlin, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise because it would have been a bitch taking a 69 lb. bag, a carry on and a four foot long bike box onto the train at rush hour once in Berlin. This is a picture of my temporary room until the 1st of April. Our apartment is quite centrally located in the neighborhood of Prenzlauer Berg.

View kitchen wise.

GET GOIN ALREADY

2008-03-21T04:00:00.000-07:00

YVR offers a "plethora" of food stuffs such as Tim Hortons, Starbucks, and A&W(which happened to be in the other terminal). This sponge full of grease might not have been the best choice of diet before embarking upon a 20 hour journey in which at least 16 of those hours were spent crammed into an economy seat constantly drinking complimentary coffee.

Wings.

Copenhagen looking towards Malmo. If you look close you can see the wind turbines in the distance.

After travelling to Europe via the US my opinion of travel has completely changed. The US was the biggest headache to get through--I suppose by now, all of us in North America take it for granted that to travel you must expect the usual customs at the borders. Shoes off, open bags, pat down--and definite scrutiny if your skin colour is any darker than a peach. The EU standard, as far as Denmark and Germany , is much more relaxed, and the Customs officers are cute girls with accents.

FINAL DAYS

2008-03-20T19:55:00.000-07:00

Investing(wasting) hours of (our lives) time perfecting this device in the spirit of science, technology, design and to generally make the world a scummier place.

Umm, ya. This is not in Germany.

Uhhh, ya. Neither is this.

If Frank Stella and Bill Reid date raped Carla from Cheers on top of a totem pole and the outcome was a vehicle, this would be it.

Keyboards and vocalsss...uh...not in Berlin.

MAN OF MANY FACES

2008-03-20T19:50:00.000-07:00

Bong Wang.

Rib Dick. Ladies can't keep their eyes of Big Z.

METAL FACE BERZERKER

2008-03-08T15:11:00.001-08:00

Olov! Metal!

BERZERKER PARTY

2008-03-08T15:06:00.000-08:00

BERZERKER JAMS

2008-03-08T14:15:00.000-08:00

Fuck Norway, and Fuck Black Metal. Seriously--those dudes are the biggest pussies ever. How cool is it to dress up like elves and prance around threatening to burn churches? Wait, I'll answer that question--not at all cool. Oh, so the baddest thing you did was find your dead band mate, make stew with his brain, and make some cute jewelry with fragments of his skull? Whateves! Try to write a song while you are in the blistering heat of Tatoonie, while riding on the back of a Bantha. That is berzerker.

THE BLOG RACE

2008-03-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

KOREANS: 65

BEER DRINKERS: 56

ROCKY'S: 18

THE HIDAWAY MARCH 12

2008-03-06T18:05:00.000-08:00

Multiple Choice:

This Wednesday come and check out one of the following at the Alibi Room:

a) A free punch in the face.

b) Wet t-shirt contest, hosted by Corey Haim and Hulk Hogan.

c) Live jams from The Hideaway Jug Band!!! and a really crappy but fun set with real records with El Scumador and dj shitty!!!...and much much more!!! with no cover from 9-12 at the Alibi Room on 157 Alexander St. located in Vancouver, BC, Canada.

d) a live performance of U'r dead 2 me

Promotional poster to follow.

CRUNCHATOR, PRIMATOR. PRIMATOR, CRUNCHATOR.

2008-03-03T17:37:00.000-08:00

For the sake of a friend I recently visited the Primator Brewery in Nachod, Czech Republic. I didn't ask about what the name means, however I took it upon myself to assume that it could be broken down as follows:

Prima=# 1

Tor=to smash, dominate, or rule--in a "in your faceee!" way.

Picturesque Nachod.

Document of stuff, in perfect cursive.

Inges, Czverik, Milos , and Ctirad.

...HAHN?

2008-03-03T17:30:00.000-08:00

Despite the results from the pole being in with a landslide victory for "Hnyaaaa!", I think this little anthropological artifact could help us learn a bit about ourselves. Or perhaps you just need to relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy a nice big glass of Hahn. Hynaaaa.

BANANAS!!!

2008-03-01T11:46:00.000-08:00

Bananas! Check 'em out! Don't think that you are too good for this monkey fruit, because you aren't. Chock full of goodness, bananas will have you healthy as a horse in no time. Bananas, good, and good for you.

BANANARAMA LINKZ BANANARAMA LINKZ

Check out the focus power of bananas. FOCUS!!!

New York street banana culture.

BIKEZ

2008-02-26T14:37:00.000-08:00

Have you ever punched a girl in the face? You have!? You are a huge douchebag.

Biking through Stanley Park along the causeway kind of got me down, because firstly, there is a slight incline throughout the park, which is really frustrating because it isn't really a hill to climb and conquer--it is just this subtle push that tells you,"what, you can't go faster that that?" , and you can't go faster, because getting up to speed will just burn you out, and the incline just keeps going, and going and going. Absolutely no gratification. Then there are all these cars zooming by coughing out dirty air and abrasive noise. It just totally chafes a guy. Once I got to the end of the causeway I realized, instead of trudging into the park after that ride, it would be waaaaaaay better to dispose of a body by just tossing it off the bridge. It would be totally gratifying.

Green.

I saw this, like, bird, like it was an eagle I think. Yeah, like a bald eagle. Like the sun, it was, like gleaming off the, like feathers--like totally blinding. It was like a really big eagle, probably like the biggest one in the world, like it was so big that you wouldn't believe it. It was like so big that you would say,"that's like the biggest fucking bald eagle ever, i don't even believe it!", even though you are like looking right at it in the face. Then he winked at me an dove down under the water, like "SPLOOOOSH!!!!" and went under the water, for like a forty seconds. Just when I thought this wasn't real, because eagles can't swim, right, and this was like a super eagle made by the government using special drugs to make him like the biggest ever, he blasted out of the water with a moose in his mouth, or like beak, and flew totally fast into the mountains, probably to go to his nest to feed the baby eagles.

I love Supernatural British Columbia.

KRAZY KRAB KRAZRZ KOORZ KHIANTI KOKO KOMPUTERZ

2008-02-26T14:25:00.000-08:00

Dice has crabs!!! Hahahahahaha.

Gills'n'guts...that might be a good seafood restaurant name.

Ko' gettin' some leg. Ow'.

ELEVATOR TO NIRVANA

2008-02-22T04:01:00.000-08:00

Captain Hook made fucking love to the karaoke version of Stairway to Heaven. Pretty much redefined the whole meaning of totally fucking blowing it. Nice try though douchebag.